Blog 7: The REALLY TERRIBLE HORRIBLE NO GOOD VERY BAD DATE!!!

A few years ago (and we're talking over 10 years ago at this point), I met up with this kid I went to high school with when I was working in downtown New Brunswick (I must have been about 15/16 at the time). We decided to go on a date. In hind sight, I should have known this bitch was doomed from the jump simply because he said "My cousin White Mike is gonna pick you up". Not really paying attention to that, I said okay. I get picked up and we go to the pool hall down the street from my house. Then...Mike leaves.

Me: Where's he going?

Date: To a bonfire in Hillsborough

Me: Well, how will he know when to pick us up?

Him: I'm gonna call him from your phone when we're ready

Me: ...

So, we play pool. Until the pool hall closes at 2.

Him: I thought this place closed at 3...that's when I told Mike to pick us up. Lemme see your phone right quick.

He calls Mike...who doesn't answer the phone. He waits another 15 minutes and tries again. Same result. 2 more tries and Mike's girlfriend finally picks up and says that Mike is too drunk to drive and she has no idea where they are in order to come get us. At this point, it's 3am. Options: call a cab or walk. Now, in order to call a cab, one must wait about 30 minutes after calling said cab for it to get there to drive me 2 minutes away. I was perfectly okay with that and started to dial the number.

Him: You're not far. Why don't you just walk home?

Me: ...it's 3am.

Him: It'll be fine. There's no one on the road.

Me: Are you going to walk with me?

Him: Nah...I'm gonna walk home myself. I have a longer walk than you.

Me: ... So you're really not going to walk with me? Why don't I call the cab, have it take me home and then take you home that way you don't have to walk either?

Him: Nah...I don't wanna pay you back *gives hug and starts walking to the left. I live to the right.*

Me: *stares at his back for about 30 seconds as he's just bopping along down the highway*

Now, I would have called said cab, but in reality, it really didn't make sense. I would have had to wait about 30 minutes and then probably pay like 10 bucks for it to drive me 2 minutes away...if that. I had walked it before in the daylight. What's so bad about walking it at night, right? EVERY-GATDAMN-THING IS WRONG!!!

Wrongness #1: It's 3AM. Drunk drivers.

Wrongness #2: As I stand in the direction of my house, there is a highway to my left and then a cemetery to the left of that. Zombies, bitch!!! Not to mention all the damn deer that could come and just run me over. Oh, and speaking of said highway, there's no sort of pedestrian path, so I'm just walking on the shoulder of the road.

Wrongness #3: To the right of me, after departing the strip mall, is a cornfield. With corn stalks that are higher than me. I am all of 5'2". I don't know what's in that field!!!

But...I get to walking. And each car that passed me by spooked the entire fuck out of me and then...I just started running. And then the next day, this fool texted me: So, did you have fun last night?

>_<